I
was rushing out of my last period. Trying to reach the train on time,
to not be caught during rush hour. But as soon as I entered the train
it was extremely crowded. I slowly squeezed inside the tiny space
that remained. Everyone is extremely close to one another. I do not
feel comfortable putting my whole body on someone. I am afraid to be
in these crowded trains because I get worry that someone may touch
me. I see things on the news everyday, and women are always the
victims of unwanted sexual contact. This makes me wonder, why women
are always the victims of this? Then it becomes clear to me, women
are seen as weak incapable of defending themselves. But this is not
new, women have always been seen as the inferior gender. I am often
forced to put myself in this situations if I want to get home fast or
not be late for anything. On the other hand, I could stay back and
wait but I am sure the train is going to be just as crowd or even
more.
As
each stop passed, the train got more and more filled with people.
Eventually, after reaching grand central the train become so crowded
that it become extremely difficult for anyone to move or even get
out. I was unable to find a seat since the train was crowded. As
people got up from their seats, I attempt to take one but a woman
always rushed in front of me and got it before I could. She may have
seen me going for it but she pushes her way through, almost as though
she is racing me to the finish line. On occasions when a male and I
are both trying to take a seat, most will step out my way and allow
me to sit. But I rarely see this behavior from a female. Sometimes I
had to exit the train in order to let others out, as I did not want
to be pushed around, since people often ignore those in their way.
Many times when I attempt to exit the train people always stand in my
way. In times like this I get really frustrated because I am often in
a rush or just want to leave the train and people are preventing me
from doing so. Plus many times if you push these people who stand in
your way they will get angry at you. I have noticed that most of the
time it is women who don’t like to get out. Even when I say “excuse
me” they still stand there, as though no one said anything to them.
When they remain in my way, it gives me pleasure to push them because
they did not listen to me. It makes me feel in power. But why don't
they get out? The obvious reason is that they do not want to lose
their spot in the train. But I am sure it is something more than
that. Women don’t respect other women.
Being
in a crowded train, comes with being pushed around by both males and
females but women don’t feel enough compassion for other women on
the train, yet respect men enough to get out of their way. What's
even more strange is that women seem less likely to make room for
other women on the train, but they will apologize for stepping on me
or pushing me. They may want to avoid confrontation. I actually have
discovered a trend, those big, strong males twice my size are often
the ones not to say anything. They often just look at my face with an
expression of “she’ll be fine.” I guess these males do not fear
confrontation from such a defenseless little thing. Lately, I have
noticed a pattern in myself, sometimes I’ll step on someone and
pretend I didn’t do it or just ignore it so I don’t have to
apologize. Although when I step on someone that looks very
intimidating I will apologize in an instant. Women apologize on
trains more often than men since men don’t see women as
threatening. A train can be a competitive environment that brings out
the defining behaviors in individuals.
